I loved turning 50!

But, a few years later, it appeared my whole body was rebelling. I developed asthma. Then, I started getting weird headaches, that would make it difficult to even see the computer screen at work clearly. My Primary Care Physician said, "Hmmm. I think you have a heart murmur." So off I went to the Cardiologist. Turns out, I had a congenital heart defect, I had a hole in my heart, that never closed, after I was born. So, even though I was 55 and way over "child bearing years," I had an operation to seal it up.

Sent to a neurologist

Up through my artery, which I have on DVD. So no more mini strokes (the weird headaches). I was set! Except, I couldn't walk very well. I've had Essential Tremors since I was about 12, so I didn't pay attention to more tremors. I was falling asleep at the keyboard, at work, even though I'd slept well the night before. I would forget where I was, momentarily, sitting in my cubicle. So, my PC Dr sent me to a Neurologist. Testing. Finally, I heard the words, "You've got Parkinson's disease." If I had been thinking of something, my mind went completely blank.

Can't pretend to be happy with Parkinson's

Since 2012, I've been learning everything I could find on PD. Trying to prepare myself. Doesn't work. Every one of us is affected differently by this nasty disease. It changed me. Okay, I thought, I can do this new normal. But it keeps changing, sneaking around my body and brain. Especially, my brain. I don't know who or what I am, anymore. I thought I did, but that changed, too. I still want to be the happy person I always was, but, especially lately, I can't even pretend.

I apologize for this downer of a story, but that is where and what I am, right now. My PC Dr is giving me a referral to a psychiatrist, who now thinks I should talk to a therapist. I am going to follow through with their suggestions, because nothing else seems to be working.

By providing your email address, you are agreeing to our privacy policy. We never sell or share your email address.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The ParkinsonsDisease.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

or create an account to comment.