I loved turning 50!
But, a few years later, it appeared my whole body was rebelling. I developed asthma. Then, I started getting weird headaches, that would make it difficult to even see the computer screen at work clearly. My Primary Care Physician said, "Hmmm. I think you have a heart murmur." So off I went to the Cardiologist. Turns out, I had a congenital heart defect, I had a hole in my heart, that never closed, after I was born. So, even though I was 55 and way over "child bearing years," I had an operation to seal it up.
Sent to a neurologist
Up through my artery, which I have on DVD. So no more mini strokes (the weird headaches). I was set! Except, I couldn't walk very well. I've had Essential Tremors since I was about 12, so I didn't pay attention to more tremors. I was falling asleep at the keyboard, at work, even though I'd slept well the night before. I would forget where I was, momentarily, sitting in my cubicle. So, my PC Dr sent me to a Neurologist. Testing. Finally, I heard the words, "You've got Parkinson's disease." If I had been thinking of something, my mind went completely blank.
Can't pretend to be happy with Parkinson's
Since 2012, I've been learning everything I could find on PD. Trying to prepare myself. Doesn't work. Every one of us is affected differently by this nasty disease. It changed me. Okay, I thought, I can do this new normal. But it keeps changing, sneaking around my body and brain. Especially, my brain. I don't know who or what I am, anymore. I thought I did, but that changed, too. I still want to be the happy person I always was, but, especially lately, I can't even pretend.
I apologize for this downer of a story, but that is where and what I am, right now. My PC Dr is giving me a referral to a psychiatrist, who now thinks I should talk to a therapist. I am going to follow through with their suggestions, because nothing else seems to be working.
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