Decisions
2019 just sucked. My mother, a remarkable woman with her own story to tell, became ill and passed away here at home last summer. Needless to say, in addition to my job, my first priority during her illness was taking care of her. When I felt anxious, I naturally marked it up to stress. When I realized that I was waking 3, 4, sometimes 5 times nightly, stress as well. Other observations – what I now recognize as symptoms – the cramped handwriting, reduced strength in my left hand, difficulty with buttons, zippers, buckles and other fine motor activities, I tended to ignore, until they became more pronounced and I scheduled a doctor’s appointment. He listened to me, flexed my hands and watched me walk up and down the hallway. When I sat back down he said he’d like to refer me to a neurologist, that I may have Parkinson’s disease or a “Parkinson’s like” disease. My anxiety of course sky rocketed upon hearing this, although I was not entirely surprised. I knew nothing about PD - except for tremors, Muhammed Ali and Michael J. Fox – but somehow it had been in the back of my mind.
Recognizing more symptoms
Although I scheduled the neurology appointment that same day, I had to wait almost 4 months for it. At first I began reading about PD, but I got scared, decided not to self-diagnose and make myself crazy. At the same time, the more I read, the more symptoms I recognized – the hoarse/softer voice/monotone, difficulty expressing myself with words, facial “masking” – even the dry eyes.
When I finally saw the neurologist he performed many of the same “tests” that my PCP had done, and gave me the diagnosis. While not surprised, I had still held out the hope that my symptoms had another cause, a more treatable/curable one. He went on to prescribe me a medication called Mirapex (Pramipexole) which I have now been taking for almost 3 months.
Living a good life
2020 was going to suck too it seemed – and the coronavirus pandemic wasn’t even in the picture then – until I decided that it would not. In the first place, my diagnosis could definitely be WAY WORSE. Second, I decided that I am going to be one of those people with PD who lives a good, long time with good quality of life. The medication makes an enormous difference as well – I am able to move more quickly, have better fine motor control and am more animated – go away facial mask! I have decided to continue being grateful for my husband of 38 years, my children, grandchildren and extended family and to celebrate life.
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