My spouse of 44 years Really realizing he may never get out

My husband of 44 years had a severe paranoid episode and he did it to me I’ve been taking care of him 20 he was diagnosed at age 42 now 63 and he has been baker acted about 4 times and he has had the same neurologist for the diagnosis nice Christian Man but he did nothing to really help my husband who was I knew was going to handle being in a locked unit. He is in one now he has gotten mentally that he hallucinates has delusions and severe paranoia! He see’s people in our house with no faces and he thinks he see’s cocaine all over the furniture in our house and I’m the one using it. He see’s things that are not there inside and outside and gets up set now if you don’t agree so I have kept him calmed down but he is no longer able to calm down for me. He thinks I run the streets at night while he sleeps which isn’t long he is lucky if he gets 4 to 5 solid hours at one time. I have went through the acting out his dreams him grabbing my wrists so hard I have to yell at him and tell him to stop loudly and I mean loudly to get him out of this trance like state he is in he can no longer wake up like at first of this behavior and understand what is going on it takes him a minute for his brain to process what he is doing. I have been kicked during a dream really hard and another dream he is having to me he has night terrors not many people know what they are! He reaches out in the air while dreaming and is trying to catch something or touch something or someone he doesn’t know he says. I have to get up after he has been up a certain amount of time he can’t be up without me being awake and I found out these people he see’s at night scare him and he almost sits on top of me. He started sundowners syndrome when we had the fall back time change last year in the fall I had a feeling it would happen and it did. Again he is now in a locked facility for people with all kinds of problems some have no legs and a lot are in wheelchairs my husband is not he is able to bath himself and feed himself and go bathroom and not have problems but past 3 months he has what he calls dripping and some times if he has had a lot of soda he can’t wake up and use the bathroom I don’t understand why these professionals think they can when they are given sleeping medication and cat wake up stupid thinking from “ Professionals in the psychiatric field “ Instead it is used against them they have incompetence problems and i big problem for facilities and I really think that is some thinking that doesn’t make one bit of sense and yes I know it can get worse we’ll we are humans not animals and deserve to be treated in a place that isn’t for people that have Parkinson’s with Dementia the place my husband is at now has been diagnosed. We have been told he was misdiagnosed he only had phyosis and ECT treatments would make him much better after a course of treatment well it didn’t I knew it was a stupid idea but my husband’s body not mine do I supported his decision. The pain in his temple’s of his head hurt so bad he didn’t want to have them but the Neurologist didn’t care about it hurting so much but I believe him my husband is not a whiner about sickness. His whole waits till they gave a cold at first but doesn’t go doctors until it’s turns into pneumonia so he has learned about doctors the hard way! I go visit and bring him new clothes and socks and white t-shirts and underwear because it is stolen or takes 2 weeks to get back and they are marked with permanent black markers as instructed by the facility but don’t come back till I had to hunt down someone in the hallway one visit and told him about the never returning clothes I had spent about 200 dollars on Walmart shorts and underwear and white t-shirts he likes to sleep in I bought inexpensive clothes because I im know even the employees steal those things from personal experience being in hospital after having a baby or other surgeries. So that has finally gotten better but back to what I want to know if anyone can help me with the place like I have said they found a good regiment of med’s and he has calmed down never been in a hospital as inpatient until his first baker act episode that was in 2022 October never been a inpatient person in a hospital he doesn’t trust doctors all they want like Dentist’s is your money so getting this diagnosis of Parkinson’s has been hell for me for the 20 years I cared for him until he would not take the medication and boy did he have paranoia bad and delusional thoughts and hallucinations got worse. He is not totally always out of reality he goes out and he is right and you are wrong or telling a lie. He is in this facility like I said and it is small and it is filthy and smells like pee and poop! They don’t get his medicine on time or a bath on the every other day schedule they have. He never gets to go outside he is in the 4th floor he came into the facility with the tag he was combative because he was scared to death if hospitals I mean terrified so he resisted for 3 or 4 being admitted the first time the psychiatrist and doctor on duty didn’t put him in psychiatric ward he went to a regular floor but he resisted because he was scared to yell and back! He was there for 13 days and got pneumonia 2 times from aspiration ing or choking on his vomit. Sound familiar to anyone out their? The last time I went as I write this it was 2 days ago he is giving up on living he can not take being so cooped up he is going to have a breakdown if he doesn’t get in a ward where not so small and he can move around. He has restless leg syndrome and he gets really tight knots in the back
If his calves that when he was home he would cry I had to rub his legs! He has been on medication for it helped for awhile but not anymore he has to get up and walk it gives him a feeling like someone is tickling the back of his legs and it gets so bad the only thing that helps is to get up and walk it happens to many people I have learned my sister lives with me she takes 3 medication for her restless syndrome! I’m serious he is headed for a nervous breakdown he almost is out of the will to live being cooped up in this facility and I’m worried as hell I behave been in his frame of mind I have had a nervous breakdown I call it. I have clinical depression and a couple other things. I see a psychiatrist every 6 weeks right now because of this ridiculous circus going on. Mental health reform my butt I don’t gave the money to pay for for a 4,000 a month facility or 10,000 and more I have found out. So we are or once was middle class people working and he worked till the stress from the company he worked for got to be to much he had to go on Social Security Disability and that made out income go down so much we don’t even have to file income taxes. Sad Sad state this country is in hr gas paid taxes since he had a paper route which he threw with a bicycle before and after school till he saved up enough money and paid for his own car. He lives in hell and I feel like I abandoned him I love my husband if 44 years and dated 3 years when it was 9th grade to 12th plus our marriage time. What am I supposed to do I’m not rich and this country doesn’t mind making him live in a filthy, roach , fruit flies and the smell of per and poop day after day. Air conditioner sounders like it’s on its last leg. He has to share one bathroom with 3 other people that are more mentally unstable then he is and one sink in the toilet room it is filthy and the bed linen oh my god I changed his bed linen as soon as I saw it for first time I was able to see him. Like everyone they are short staffed and I can get them gossiping in hallway when I’m on the phone with him he calls me 8 to 10 times a day I bought him a cheap track phone they only have one supposedly for the 30 patients on that floor supposedly. I can’t ever get ahold of anyone when I call have to leave a voicemail I try not to get over mad but it’s hard it’s putting him into a deep depression and I’m just about there too but I have to look out for him. I have sprayed all around his bed with raid the back of the headboard and footboard the beds are agent oh my gosh do unsafe my husband had a room mate he got a broken arm after 3 weeks because he was left to Kay with his head hanging over one side of the bed and legs hanging off the other side of the mattress he was not Kate’s in the bed from the head board to the footboard the right way! They just left him that way he was taken out 4 visits of seeing my husband for hospice care wasn’t surprised at all! His side has not been sanitized and his clothes removed. I need help anyone out there have any advice I’m during inside but when he is at home now he feels good and won’t take his medicine and acts out. I don’t want him to get arrested he could never make it in a jail. He got down from 186 lbs to 155 lbs from the last time I had to call for help he had me in a bear hug from behind and was squeezing me so hard I had hard time breathing the cops came not first time either but this time they arrested him I thought they were going to baker act him as they had been doing or when they took him to hospital the hospital did. What I’d wrong with this nation we pay our taxes lived a law abiding life and now all our dreams and hard worked it gone we are both 63 now and I can’t get him help in anything but this filthy place. I saw 2 baby roaches that almost crawled over my shoes I cried myself to sleep after that first visit! We have applied for Medicaid but you have to not have a Penney to
Your name use up all the money we have tried to save up for our golden years my ass! How would I live on the social security I get I had to quite my job to care for my husband like I say a 3 ring sick circus in America 🇺🇸. It’s shameful on us. We give more money away to the whole world and leave our own in pig sties. Unreal in the best nation on earth yeah right. What ????
Jellybean