Hi,
I was having a look through the various items + problems we all seem to have to somehow learn to live with which is part of coping with this horrible disease.
I feel our whole household is ruled by Mr Parkinson, no matter how I try to rise above it or when I have any other health problem, Parkinson’s doesn’t like being pushed aside, is my way of trying to explain to friends who can never understand how we feel.
I used to have similar “offs” to you, I have had PD for 24 years since diagnosis + 2 years prior to this when no one could determine my symptoms!! I live in Scotland & my GP apologised to me after I eventually saw a neurologist & was told my diagnosis, my GP realised he’d missed several of the symptom!!
My “switch offs” have changed since I was started on Apomorphine, now 7 years ago, at first I used to self inject with an Apogo pen, unfortunately there was a problem during Covid, I had to wait almost 2 years longer to transfer onto a medication pump. I’m not sure if you have heard of this drug but my PD has never settled or significantly improved since I was put on it. Perhaps my expectations were too high as I was so fed up having similar “offs” as those you describe.
I also changed consultant around the time I started the Apomorphine & I have never felt i had the same trust or empathy with her. I’m now repeatedly told “I’m a conundrum or “an anomaly” as I have very complex PD.
I don’t have them all the time though they are becoming more frequent again, I feel so ill, every ounce of energy drains out of me & as almost my whole body is trapped, being contorted with dystonia, it is unbelievably painful then to crown it all I have an overwhelming sense of panic which engulfs me, I feel so scared. I dread these “offs” as they last such a long time, my husband & daughter feel helpless as there is virtually nothing they can do to ease my distress. My body is consumed with feeling tight, my feet are cold & numb. I absolutely dread these episodes.
My specialist PD nurse once asked me to describe this mounting feeling, she told me other patients had described it as a crescendo which is exactly what I felt was happening to me. It feels interminable. The relief as eventually the medication finally kicks in + the intense tension subsides is such a relief.
These episodes leave me completely wiped out. It’s very difficult to explain to family or the nurses / medics the intensity of these off periods, they make an already problematic life even more so.
As Janny commented earlier the “offs” are occurring as the longer I take the medication the less effective it becomes. I try to stay in good spirits but it is hard though I do count myself lucky that I have had longer than I expected when I was told my diagnosis. I try to count the good days & not dwell on the past harder ones. You are definitely not alone, I so wish all the clever people working so hard on research could find the key to unlock this horrible live altering + limiting disease.
Sorry for the lengthy response.
Chris