The Beginning
As I looked down at my trembling hand the level of panic escalated. I shook my head and reminded myself that it was probably down to dehydration. My family had traveled to meet my brother and I was determined to enjoy the trip. I was aware of the symptoms of Parkinson’s but I squashed the fears and continued with my busy life.
When the tremors could not be ignored I was referred to a neurologist who confirmed what I had feared.
I cried that day and then went to work the day after.
A dose of reality
For five years I worked long hours and was determined Parkinson’s wasn’t going to beat me. The bubble finally burst when my boss met with me and informed me that I was to take time off. Reality was a hard pill to swallow but it is what I needed.
I had tried so hard to behave as ‘normal’ in the beginning. I ignored the worries of my family and I rarely cooked as I was so tired.
Taking time off has given me the opportunity to reflect on my journey. Denial is hard to admit and there are still days when I wake up and I struggle with knowing I have Parkinson’s.
From the beginning, I wish I had asked for help and not been so afraid of discussing my feelings with my family and friends. I wish I had asked for help instead of being a hero and doing housework and other chores myself. I was lucky that my meds controlled my symptoms except for the overwhelming tiredness.
My travel companions
On a positive note, I have opened up to my family and realized that dialogue reduces anxiety; not increase it. I am seeing a psychologist to overcome the symptoms of anxiety and as I have more time, my cooking has improved and I have been promoted to chef and not microwave mum!
I am returning to work in three months to a position I love and less responsibility. Everyone’s journey is different and unique to their circumstances. It is a road we can choose to travel alone or ask people to help and lighten the load.
In the beginning, I thought only I could travel down the path and whether the storm but now I am so glad I have the support of my traveling companions.
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