A Confusing And Unexpected Journey
I was diagnosed 4 1/2 years ago. As I look back, my PD started a long time ago. My many doctors could never put it all together. And they still don't communicate with each other very often.
One of Posy's stories struck a chord with me. I try very hard to stay positive. I have a significant other who is an energizer bunny. He loves life and can always find something to do. Needless to say I want to be by his side too. So, when my energy is up I do everything I can. It usually lasts several days. I am in my glory. Shopping, cooking, visiting with friends, and almost feeling like my old self except for a few symptoms that are with me every day.
And they change all the time, sometimes by the hour.
A sudden change
Then, low and behold I hit a wall. My blood pressure goes up or down. I get so tired I can hardly stand up or keep my eyes open, much less navigate where I am going. My mind gets confused and I am having temperature changes from hot to cold. The worst of it is my anxiety sits on my chest like an elephant and it won't let me breathe. By that time I am acting like a grouch and taking my ill feelings out on everyone else.
I know it's happening and I need to get home to my quiet cocoon. I can't control my need to run. I have to get out of there quickly or
I'll have more explaining to do than I really care to.
My family and friends are aware of my PD, but they really don't understand it. My meds keep my tremors under control for the most part so they do not understand what is going on in the background when I look perfectly fine. They can't imagine not pooping for almost a week and dealing with stomach cramps on a daily basis or falling out of bed and breaking your shoulder because of the very vivid dreams that keep me awake half the night or the fact that I have a hard time navigating especially at night because my eyes no longer change focus easily or quickly, those are some of the reasons I AM CRANKY. If I could get some help with the pain and fatigue I might have a better outlook.
Yup, as another PD writer has said, PD is the gift that keeps on giving, especially when you least expect it. I am grateful that I have you all to help me understand this crazy disease and keep me from feeling sorry for myself.
For all of us, tomorrow will be a better day. I am sure of it!
77 and trying to age gracefully!
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