Are Your Labels Negatively Affecting Your Future?

Our self-image is often composed of labels imposed on us by others. Are they the real "you?" When we were young, almost all of us picked up labels that made us feel 1 dimensional.

You know... the smart kid, the dumb kid, brainiac, skinny, fat, cute, ugly, just to name a few. These labels often hurt and sometimes made others laugh.

What is the impact?

Perceived positive labels often are actually negative in the long term. Two examples: Being called "smart" may set your future bars too high or cause you to be viewed as "not like the others." Buying into "cute" or "pretty" may leave you with difficult tasks when natural aging begins to affect your physical appearance.

We were thought to be young and resilient enough to survive the sting of labels and challenge their truth. For many of us, perhaps all of us, that thought was wishful thinking and we have had to cope with those adolescent labels our entire lives. Many beliefs you hold about yourself today reflect labels imposed on you in the past.

How others define me

We are older now and may have a chronic disease, like Parkinson's disease. A whole new set of labels are being added to our view of self. These labels seem sharper, more defining, and look permanent. Worst of all, they can further damage our self-esteem. They also come at a time when our resilience is lower due to the toll of aging and chronic disease.

I’ve carried with me the negative aspects of being called smart, nerdy, insecure, and geeky when I was in high school and college. In addition, new chronic disease labels run the gamut. The Veterans Administration views me as disabled. The Colorado DMV says I’m handicapped.

My health and life insurance choices have narrowed to only the policies I currently have, as potential insurers view me as uninsurable. I walk with the aid of hiking sticks - slow and cripple are words that occasionally come my way. Some politicians think my entire generation is expendable.

More than just words

It’s true, some labels do come with benefits. I like taking advantage of my handicapped plates to park closer to my destination on those cold and icy days and my VA disability does offer benefits and services.

Labels are not just words. They often carry negative meaning and consequence. Take "disabled" for example. There are multiple definitions. There are stigmas associated with the word "disabled."

People who are viewed as disabled frequently internalize the stigmas into a negative view of self-esteem. If I bought into all of my labels, I’d be lying in bed in the fetal position.

Are my labels correct?

Yes, to some extent. But, I fight the implications of those labels. The labels do not define me even if they may accurately describe some elements of me.

I work hard every day to make sure I don’t let these labels affect my self-view or my self-esteem. Dealing on a daily basis with Parkinson’s disease and chronic kidney disease is hard enough without letting labels from outside define me.

At this point many of you may be thinking something like, "What’s he talking about? I have enough trouble managing my diseases, taking my pills and keeping track of my doctor's appointments. He’s adding self-esteem to my issues?"

The problem is we often use labels to describe our self-esteem and those labels almost all come from outside. What words do you use and what percent of those words came from how others have used to describe you?

Low self-esteem

According to the Mayo Clinic, low self esteem is a major factor in negative or less positive outcomes in those diagnosed with chronic disease.¹

The Mayo Clinic defines low self-esteem as putting little value on your opinions and ideas.Those with low or negative self-esteem focus on perceived weaknesses and faults. They give little credit to their skills and assets. They believe that others are more capable or successful.¹

The following may be signs of low self-esteem:²

• All-or-nothing thinking - You see things as either all black or all white
• Seeing only negatives and dwelling on them
• Rejecting your achievements and other positive experiences
• Jumping to negative conclusions with little or no facts
• Mistaking feelings for facts
• Undervaluing yourself, putting yourself down, or using self-deprecating humor

Improving self-image

Here are a few steps you can take to impact your self-esteem and self-image. Try actively thinking like this:²

• Treat yourself with kindness
• Forgive yourself when you make mistakes
• Learn from your experiences
• Make sure your expectations are realistic.
• Focus on the positive
• Review your coping skills and develop new ones
• Give yourself credit when you make positive changes

If there is one thing I would tell my younger self it would be: Find ways to minimize the labels as they will lessen you. Be a Duck. Let the labels roll off your back!