“I wonder how fast my Parkinson’s will progress?”
The fear of the unknown is a difficult pill to swallow. How do you prepare for a future that is unknown? You can’t, but this can bring on many worrisome thoughts.
“How did this happen to me?”
Number one question that every Parkie has to face…how or why did I get Parkinson’s disease? While we might have ideas of what triggered a neurological condition such as exposure to pesticides or chemicals, trauma, head injury or just plain old aging…it can be difficult to pin it all on one incident. As for why? The one thing I can say is that you didn’t do anything to bring Parkinson’s onto yourself. You‘re not being punished. You’re not unlucky or cursed. It is what it is.
“Am I going to look like that?”
Many newly diagnosed Parkies avoid going to support groups because they don’t want to see how bad it can get. But no two Parkies look the same. We are like snowflakes… we’re all unique in how Parkinson’s impacts us. But that doesn’t prevent the urge to compare.
“When will they find a cure for Parkinson’s?”
The million-dollar question. And I wish I had the answer.
“Do I have my pills with me?”
Every Parkie at sometime has had a little freak out when they realize they don’t have their Parkinson’s medications available to them. For this very reason, I have stashes of Sinemet in my purse, gym bag, car, work, wallet, on my dog’s collar… you name it and I’ve probably hidden pills in it.
“Why do I feel so tired?”
Although it’s easy to think of someone with Parkinson’s as lazy, feeling tired can be a very real thing. Fatigue is a symptom of PD, not to mention apathy and depression, which can both lead to lack of interest or motivation to engage in activities.
“Looking back at my life, I can see I had Parkinson’s way before I was diagnosed”
Once all the puzzle pieces are in place and you get an official diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease, many times you can look back and see symptoms that you had no idea stemmed from PD. Maybe you had rigidity but you chalked it up to tweaking your shoulder while you were gardening last week.
“I used to be able to do ____”
Fill in the blank… readers choice. You can’t help but think about what you used to be able to do prior to getting Parkinson’s disease.
“I am not crazy”
With the multitude of layers that Parkinson’s can have, it’s easy to feel as if you’re going mad. Then top this onto trying to explain what is happening to your body and mind to a family member or friend, and you’ve got yourself a one way ticket to crazy town.
“I am a burden”
This is usually a hidden thought that we place on ourselves without validating it. But remember that a burden is something placed on you, not something that you choose. Your friends and family are choosing to be there for you. You are not a burden.