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A person walks away as their shadow transforms into a monster.

The Shadow Knows

I walk every day and night along with my shadow. The Shadow follows me everywhere from the time I get up in the morning until the next day. Each day, The Shadow watches me and learns what I can and cannot do as well.

The Shadow is constantly monitoring me every minute of every day. He devilishly wants to meddle in every detail of my life. Minute by minute, he reassesses my physical, mental, and emotional condition. The Shadow knows everything about me. 

Whatever he touches interferes with and disrupts my body. Thinking, speaking, concentrating, and memory are affected. In addition, The Shadow tinkers with my anxiety, apathy, and depression.

Starting the day

My day starts with awakening in the morning. It is difficult for me to get in and out of bed. My body is stiff and aches so much. Trying to turn over in bed independently is getting harder and harder to do. It feels like my body is encased in concrete.

The Shadow knows that my extremities are harder and harder to move. By the way, The Shadow also knows that I need adaptive equipment. Having a standing rail secured under my mattress allows me more mobility for getting in and out of bed.

I slowly walk away from the bed towards the bathroom. The dastardly Shadow makes a note that my steps are getting shorter, slower, and harder to manage. Now, my race to the toilet feels like an Olympic event.

New challenges

Nonetheless, my balance is less steady and I am afraid of falling, but I make it to the throne. The Shadow is keenly aware of my bathroom activities. He makes a mental note of my performance on these tasks.

Going to the bathroom is getting more difficult too. Constipation and urinary urgency are new ammunition for The Shadow’s arsenal.

Home renovations

In my home, renovations were necessary for my safety and accessibility. I have a built-in shower seat that is beautifully tiled to match my new bathroom shower suite.

Adaptive shower heads and faucets are now easy to use. Having an adaptive hand-held shower hose coming out from the wall at bench height was a blessing!

This time, I hope that I foiled The Shadow again. Then, I shave, get dressed, and go on with my daily routine.

The daily routine

I have a cane which I intermittently use. Cruelly, The Shadow watches and knows that it is getting more difficult for me to get up and down from a chair or sofa independently.

Again, thinking ahead, I impede his attack and bought an electric recliner that helps me get up safely from a seated position.

I do my exercises daily. I have a great physical therapist that comes to my home twice a week. Even though I am "officially retired," I still work from my home via the internet. I am an advocate and life coach consultant to people with Parkinson's and other serious diseases.

Finding ways to adapt

The Shadow is still trying to throw additional obstacles in my way. He is getting more diabolical and frequently changes his ongoing aggressive tactics to further challenge me.

After all these years, it is like playing chess. I think I know how to deal with him. Hence, I am always thinking of ways to try to tolerate The Shadow so that I can live life each day successfully.

By the way, who is The Shadow? By now, I know you probably guessed his real name ... Parkinson’s disease.

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This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The ParkinsonsDisease.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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