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How to Accept Lost Time

As a caregiver, I now realize my husband’s irrational snd sometimes cruel behavior that nearly destroyed our marriage was something he could not help. I forgive him, but the loss of mutual caring is devastating. I would like to address my own problems before his get so bad they swallow me up. It’s sad that we are in our 80s now. Any thoughts?

  1. I can imagine how sad this makes you. Would he consider couples counseling or would you be more comfortable going individually? You should be able to get a referral from his neurologist. Sometimes having someone who can help work through the issues you are facing can be a great help and give you a new perspective. I wish you all the best and hope you can come to terms with what you are feeling. Please don’t hesitate to contact us in the future. Thea DeStephano Community Team Member

    1. Thank you, Thea. We have tried couples counseling twice since 2013 and it ended both times (after many sessions) in frustration because he said he had no feelings and doesn’t believe in feelings. Apathy also was evident. The counselors just didn’t pick up the clues. From what I have read about “PD Personality,” I doubt he will suddenly see the light. I think I need to talk to other similarly dismissed partners and/or a PD knowledgeable counselor. My husband has not yet seen a neurologist, only the PA, and he focuses on movement. My husband also is resistant to making this seem “worse than it is.”

      1. Moxie I am sorry you are dealing with so much frustration and agree that you should see someone who can help you address your individual needs. You need to take care of yourself at this point.

    2. If you or others have recommendations for care partner counselors, on line, I would appreciate them. I have not had any who know PD surface in Tucson.

      1. Moxie The Parkinson Foundation should have a listing available or your local Council on Aging may be able to direct you. A social worker with your local home health care services can also possibly help. Thea

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