Acceptance and Moving Forward

I was diagnosed with PD at 55. I was a career firefighter. The effects from PD had an impact on my abilities and 2 years later my Doctor advised an earlier retirement than I was expecting. Cognitive issues, incontinence, fatigue, freezing, stiffness, pain, and loss of balance were not conducive to me performing my duties. These were my new realities and I had to accept my limitations. Going from an "I can do anything" mentality and attitude to "I can do some things" mentality and attitude has been a difficult adjustment. Passions I once had have been committed to memories. Not having the energy and the physical and mental abilities led to frustration and depression. I had to realize that life was not over, it was just a lot different and more difficult than it once was.

This acceptance helped me cope with my diminished physical and mental presence. I knew life still kept going forward and I have to go with it, albeit at a much slower pace. It helped grow my faith and spiritual life. For me, my new passions revolve around this realm. Giving back to young people i realized was "something I can do". I have found when doing so my thoughts of "what I can't do " are replaced by joy and I feel better about myself. I am no longer embarrassed by my slow movements or diminished memory. The young people laugh at my loss of memory and concentration. They are not laughing at me, they are laughing with me. Even the pain seems to subside when I am sharing something spiritually uplifting with anyone. Do I still have fears of what is to come from PD? Of course I do, we are all human. I have days that PD gets the win. The days I can use my life with PD to help someone else I am also helping myself. No one plans on living with PD, but we do have to accept it and keep moving forward.