Hello – I joined today to offload really in a safe environment and maybe get some tips/pointers.
I care for my husband who has had PD for 20yrs, he is 69, we live in the UK. Last summer ‘Forest Gump’ kicked in and because of this his falls escalated (I call it Forest Gump as he can’t stop running). A lot of his falls are down to not being able to risk assess and he thinks he knows best. The start of this year he had a heart attack, was hospitalised locally then moved to a Specialist hospital 2hrs away whilst there he had a cardiac arrest in front of me, stopped breathing, was resuscitated with CPR & electric shocks, spent a week in critical care & 21 days later is allowed to come home. Every day he was in hospital I was with him from 8am to 8pm. exhausted was an understatement and that exhausting feeling stays with me.
I do everything in the house & outside (3 acres), we have 2dogs oldest one is 16yrs & had her 3rd stroke last month, I slept with her on the floor for 2wks – slowly slowly she is getting stronger.
My husband (when reminded/constantly nagged) uses a frame in the house 80% of the time, the other 20% he is like a pin ball bouncing off the furniture/walls. I am constantly on heightened alert to noises/bumps and run like a mad women fearing he has fallen. Last week we got a mobility scooter which for the first time in ages has allowed him outside & we walk the perimeter with the healthy dog daily. His day he wakes 7am’sh stays in bed till lunchtime watching TV – he does come into the kitchen for his breakfast then returns back to bed. I use to bring his breakfast to him, that’s stopped now as the carpet & his surrounding area had breakfast as well, I was hoping with him having to come to the kitchen for his breakfast he would then stay up for the rest of the day. When he does get up he moves to his chair in another room & continues to watch the TV till bedtime. I feel like a broken record from continuously encouraging……nagging….shouting ‘he needs to exercise’ (1) for his Parkinson’s (2) preventing the next heart attack. We have had a treadmill for 3mths now, he has been on it twice! We rarely go anywhere, he doesn’t want to & if we do he wants to come home not long after arriving. I feel my days are 24/7 caring/washing/cleaning/grass cutting/cooking/shopping – since his heart attack life for me has stopped, it feels like I haven’t taken a breath. I am sooooooo angry as I feel things could be different if he made just a little effort – am I being selfish?