Image Issues and Reputation

We hear how Posy dealt with the diagnosis of Parkinson's disease (PD).

"Please, don't tell anyone until I have come to terms with it." She instructed her husband James and her sister. She was dreading having to explain, particularly at work, that she had an embarrassing illness that would only get worse.

Trying to hide the diagnosis

Her carpal tunnel was a good excuse for her deteriorating piano skills. Her impending double knee arthroscopy was a great subterfuge for her weakened physical state.

Posy couldn't ruin the reputation she had built up over 15 years. She was known as a vibrant, enthusiastic Director of Music. She filled the pupils' lives with joy and skills.

Posy was head-hunted by other schools, other choirs, and she had had a bumper year: Her pupils had won first place in every class in the music festival. She was riding high.

Confessing about her condition

Of course, once she started to confess her condition to those she loved (close family/best friends), it felt disrespectful not to tell her dad. That was difficult for Posy. She had always worn her heart on her sleeve. She did not hold back information, and she didn't tell lies.

But, "I must be a grown-up," Posy thought. Her dad was a terrible worrier, and this news would, as her sister had warned, "finish him off."

Indeed, each of her darling friends were astounded and tearful when she revealed her bad news. She is lucky that they care so much for her, and all of them continued to make the effort to visit, help her with carrying things, and more.

Losing her father

Luckily, her move to a gorgeous little thatched cottage in an idyllic setting was an absolute joy. But a week later, her sister called to say she should come. Sadly, her dad died at home a few weeks later. Posy and her sister, distraught, kept a 24/7 vigil.

Gratifyingly, he was honored by the Royal Air Force at his funeral, and Posy and her family were treated to an incredible Spitfire display. Posy hoped he was looking down: He would have been so proud!

Blaming herself

Posy replayed her life, trying to work out why she ended up with this rotten disease. She thinks we all slightly blame ourselves. In her case, she has never been a particularly healthy eater.

She preferred carbohydrates and sugar to protein. Although her parents set a great example of how to stay fit, she was basically a 1 moment wonder with exercise: Dead keen for several months, but soon too tired/bored/hungry.

Looking back on her dad's final years, she could identify occasional, short-lived bouts of various PD-like symptoms (shaking hand, so she had to feed him; constantly feeling "weak as a kitten," etc). But, unlike her, he carried on doing 200 step-ups and squats every, single day that he possibly could.

Her shame at letting people down is increased when she compares her daily lethargy to the incredible motivation shown by her dad at 96.