Microaggressions and Parkinson's Disease

I am aware of social microaggressions in society against minorities, women, politics, and more, through my readings on social mores in America. But, upon further reflection, I began thinking of these hurtful darts that are directed towards people with Parkinson's (PWP).

Microaggressions are comments or actions that subtly and often unconsciously or unintentionally expresses a prejudiced attitude toward a member of a marginalized group.¹

Most people are kind and well-meaning. Many think that they are being supportive. However, I feel that sometimes their comments are hurtful. In this post, I will share my personal response to some common microaggressions directed towards people with Parkinson's disease (PD).^2-4

Commenting on appearance

"You look good for someone who has PD."
Somedays, I feel better than other ones. However, I have symptoms that affect me that they do not see.

"It looks like you are getting better!"
Firstly, Parkinson's is a progressive illness. Secondly, it doesn't get better! Thirdly, I just hope I can maintain my PD at today's level.

Comparing me to others

"My friend has PD and he is doing just fine."
Parkinson's disease is not a one-size-fits-all condition. Everyone's signs, aches, and pains are different.

"It could be worse, my friend has lung cancer."
While his or other diseases are awful, they are different from PD. Comparisons don't make me feel any better!

Unwanted opinions

"You are a strong-willed person. You can beat this."
Realistically, PD does not have a cure soon. Currently, I am not able to beat this. I can only try to maintain my current condition."

"Have you tried ... ?"
Most importantly, I am under the care of my doctors. I follow their professional advice.

"God doesn't give you more than you can handle."
Are you saying that I am being punished or that this is a test?

Not understanding the symptoms

"You must get tired of how your hands and feet shake."
To clarify, I don't shake on purpose. I don't "feel" tired of my tremor.

"Hurry up! What's taking so long?"
I have PD and I move slowly! I cannot move any faster by you telling me to speed up.

"Sign your name legibly. You used to have beautiful handwriting!"
Incidentally, I have micrographia. This is how I write now.

"Stand up, you are walking all bent over!"
I have Parkinson's disease. Nonetheless, I would walk erectly, if I could.

Other frustrating comments

"I know how you feel."
In contrast, you don't know how I feel unless you have PD yourself.

"Call me if you need anything, okay?"
Of course, this is a nice thought, but I am not a person that asks for help. However, how about asking, "I am going to the grocery store and drug store. Which store can I go to and shop for you?"

Think first

To summarize, I am dismayed by these microaggressions. I feel that this is a subtle way of putting someone down.

It could be that the speaker just doesn't know what to say. Think first before speaking. Be kind, thoughtful, and sincere in choosing your words. Empathize and please consider my feelings by choosing your words carefully. What are your thoughts?