'Tis the Season to Be Jolly

Ah, Christmas! or Bah, Humbug? What is Santa bringing you this year? With Parkinson's disease (PD), he sometimes delivers a sack of gifts you don't want.

On top of mobility issues, pain, and all the other ramifications of PD, comes a certain fragility and a susceptibility to other rotten problems - both physical and mental.

At this happy time of year, the advent of depression in anyone's life seems incongruous. But it happens all too often. Add in a problem with dopamine, and it seems almost inevitable.

Past celebrations

Christmas past was the highlight of Posy's young life. The extended family always spent every Christmas together ... and they enjoyed every minute! There were stockings, uplifting church services, parties, present swapping, food, and games. These times were absolutely the best and a multitude of incredible memories were created.

However, when her darling parents died, there was no longer a family home suitable to host such large gatherings. The desire to party was overshadowed by a sense of loss.

For the past 2 years, Posy has found it even harder to relish a Christmas. Which, owing to travel restrictions imposed by Covid and her daughter's health, she cannot spend with her daughter.

The holiday without family

Of course, this is a familiar situation for many people, but has Parkinson's also put a bit of a downer on Posy's Christmas? It is now 2 weeks since Posy arrived home from her whirlwind trip to Florida to visit her daughter for the first time since 2019. She is still listless and exhausted.

It is difficult to know whether she is suffering from actual fatigue (exacerbated by her PD) or if she just can't be bothered to get out of bed to prepare for another Christmas without her child.

As someone who loves being with people, Posy had been excited to stay with her in-laws. But, with Omicron cases multiplying by the second, that was deemed to be foolish. Oh, well, the only place to keep warm is in bed anyway.

Parkinson's and depression

Depression is not Posy's predominant mind-set. Her husband describes her as bouncy, funny, entertaining, grateful, happy, and empathic. Having experienced depression in the past, however, this feeling of apathy terrifies her.

Before her diagnosis of PD, Posy would have chided herself to pull her socks up. For 2 years, although she continued to work long hours. Posy did not recognize herself and thought she was losing her mind. She could not feel happy about anything. She shunned company, couldn't make commitments, and lost interest in absolutely everything. Hope was absent.

Nowadays, having learned that depression (along with all the other health problems that plagued her leading up to that diagnosis) can be a symptom of Parkinson's itself, she can partly excuse herself when she feels so utterly immobilized.

Support at home

Fortunately, Posy's saintly husband takes care of all the food shopping and preparation so Posy can plan her time and energy to manage her own responsibilities.

Without such stressors, she is better placed to cope with the constant worry about her daughter. It should even carry her through Christmas without too much introspection or sadness.

But what if you have no company and no one to help with all the practicalities of getting through each day? To spend Christmas alone would be bad enough for anyone. If your only companion were the unwelcome old misery-guts, Mr. Parkinson, you might soon lose your "Ho Ho, Ho!" 

Why me?

Do you ever wonder why this disease chose you? Maybe there is a deeper, more spiritual reason? Are we all sent a challenge in this life to overcome before we are "fit for Heaven?" Some people are truly enlightened and can handle their ill health with good grace.

Posy's father suffered in his last days, but his happiness reminiscences. In particular, family Christmas gave him comfort. "I've had such a wonderful life," he would say.

Parkinson's is not really causing Posy major suffering as yet and she is still in denial about how this disease might progress (you may be rolling your eyes and thinking "Just you wait!".)

In this together

Must we all manage our physical or mental suffering until we realize that we are not the only ones who matter? Or until we understand that the world is a community and that we should care about everyone? Perhaps, but the bleak existence of depression can suppress one's capacity for empathy as well as for joy.

Thinking outwards is truly life-affirming, but can be a real challenge to the depressed. If you are suffering this Christmas, Posy is glad that you have found this super community. ParkinsonsDisease.net will enable  you to feel less alone. Hopefully, you will derive some comfort from reading other people's stories and thoughts.

Try sharing your own... it is cathartic! You really are not alone. Certainly until there is a definitive cure. We Parkies are all in this together! Merry Christmas!