On Retirement and Parkinson’s Disease

I came from a nuclear family with Midwestern values and thick American determination. My mom stayed at home for most of my life, while my dad was the breadwinner. Mom home schooled most of her six kids until they were ready to go off to high school and take charge of their own lives. And dad worked as a realtor in the community. Their arrangement seemed to work. Mom’s job was to educate and look after us while dad worked to supply the goods.

But after my parents sent their last two kids into the school system, mom decided to go back to work. She’d taken a 20-year break from teaching music to teach her own offspring. But with a semi-empty nest, she was ready to switch hats again. So, she took an administrative position at a realtor’s office to create some financial stability, and at the same time that dad received a Parkinson’s diagnosis.

What were the beginning symptoms of Parkinson's?

At first, his symptoms were manageable enough for him to continue working and operating per usual. He had a faint tremor in his hand and foot, which he became adept at concealing. But over the years, his body started to change. His tremors worsened. He started freezing in his tracks. And he couldn’t conceal the disease anymore. What’s more is that he found that stress exacerbated his symptoms, and there was a whole lot of stress to deal with as an entrepreneur. A failing deal didn’t just equate to loss of revenue - it changed the way he’d live out the rest of his life.

While some medical diagnoses seem manageable at first glance, Parkinson’s immediately felt like a life sentence. It was a label that guaranteed that my dad’s life was going to get more complicated, no matter his treatment strategies. Now, instead of preparing for his simple retirement as he aged, dad had to take Parkinson’s into consideration.

What is next?

How would he manage his care as the disease worsened? Could he afford the medical bills that were piling up on the table? Did he have enough money to step fully into retirement even in the distant future?

While working as a realtor gave my dad a lot of freedom throughout his life, it complicated it, too. He worked his own hours, and could take time off to attend a softball or football game if he wanted. But his job didn’t promise a neatly decorated retirement package or pretty little severance. He’d only have the resources available to himself that he’d managed to squirrel away. So, the concept of retirement was a little trickier for him. Dad was self-made.

Retirement, what does that look like?

Even so, an early retirement started to become less of a choice and more of a necessity. As the disease progressed he took fewer clients. As the tremors worsened, some clients chose not to work with my dad for unspoken reasons. I could never quite make out if it was because they believed him incapable of selling their house, or if they didn’t want to burden him. But suddenly dad wasn’t so busy anymore. And the more clients he lost, the more retirement appealed to him.

Eventually mom took over the role of breadwinner. She increased her hours at the office while dad’s life shifted.

It’s been about 20 years since dad’s diagnosis. At this point, he’s almost entirely retired. He still has a handful of loyal clients that he continues to serve in the state of Michigan. And he manages to put together expertly-constructed deals from the comfort of his home. But he’s not hustling anymore. Instead, he’s reshaping his habits to accommodate the changes that Parkinson’s demands.