Should we move?
My husband is recently diagnosed. He’s 72 and has a small business in another state, which he travels to every 3 to 4 weeks. He also runs the same business locally. We had been planning to relocate to this other state but now with this diagnosis I’m not so sure. Locally there is a movement disorder center, where he was first diagnosed. The other state there is one but it would 2 hours away from where we would be living. He still wants to move…don’t think he is looking at the big picture. I’m reluctant to relocate given his diagnosis. Any thoughts or advice? Should we discuss this with his doctor? Thanks
Hello, I'll share my father's experience...he was diagnosed at age 72 also and is now 87. He is entering the advanced stages now but he is also in an advanced age. For him, he really didn't experience any problems until a few years ago. I'd said go for it! You really cannot die from PD so why not live life to your fullest! Besides, you really only visit your MDS once per year. My dad attends appointments now twice per year. Obviously each case is different, but based on my dad's experience, he would say enjoy life to it's fullest! You can always do video appointments with your doctor too, in between appointments. Best wishes, Suzanne Troy, ParkinsonsDisease.net team member I agree with Suzanne that you should follow your original plan. I understand your reluctance in leaving the medical care you feel comfortable with, but your husband can get quality care in many different ways. If he has a strong desire to make the move I would trust his instincts. Most of us with Parkinsons seem to know what we need to make us happy and quality of life means so much. Thea DeStephano Community Team Member Hi, Flyaway,
You didn't mention having children, and if you do, whether or not they're a part of your husband's & your care team. Making a move when one is 72 isn't easy. Having PD will make it even harder, unless you're moving into a Continuing Care Retirement Community. I'm 71, and have had Parkinson's for over 20 yrs. This disease has been a huge burden for my husband, a good man who is gregarious and generous. But nurturing? He usually has to be hit over the head before 1) recognizing someone else's physical & psychological needs and 2) knowing what to do about them. This was as true during our child-rearing years as it is now. It's been my observation and experience as a wife, mother, and teacher, that women are typically more intuitive than their male counterparts. If it was not for the intervention of nearby daughters and a sister, someone would probably have had to scrape me off a sidewalk years ago.
But our children have their own lives, with jobs and their own kids to raise. Last October we moved into a CCRC, and for the first time in a long while I feel safe.
We chose an Independent Living apartment for now, with an aid coming in 3 days a week for 3 hours. Doctors & nurses are always nearby on a different part of the campus, and we're still not too far for visits with our children. And we're BOTH glad husband is now free from daily cooking & cleaning responsibilities!
I can't say what's best for you and your husband, but I strongly advise that you begin to look at your current and future roles realistically. You 're not just a wife anymore, you've become a caretaker, too. With PD, there's no predicting the speed with which the disease will progress. And the quality of a Parkie's life is usually contingent on the energy, health, and insight of his/her caretaker.
Respectfully,
BLinNJ
PS - Yes, I definitely think you should discuss options with you doctor before making a decision, especially since you've both expressed reluctance. There's a lot to be said for gut feelings.the others have all given sound advice. I also suggest going to see the other MDS. It might help you decide if that's where you really should be. Another consideration: recently diagnosed, but in retrospect, how long prior to that did he have symptoms? That may provide a better assessment of your situation and the best course of action.
